| Previous -10 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 Next | | | | dcfv | | | 1, a priest in golf, a nun beside watch, the first pole dozen is wide, father scold a way: "TMD, playing partial!" A dozen again, the priest and scold: "TMD, again dozen partial!" The nun said: "you as the priest said god will punish the bad language." The words sound just fell, listen to a scattering the nun to split dead. The priest wonder: why call names of is me, why will split dead nun? Then listen to the sky came the voice of god: "TMD, I also play partial!"
2, the believer: "everything god, ten thousand is for you to how long?"
God: "I blinked eye time."
Believer: "so 1 billion dollars money?"
God: "but is one of my hair just."
Believer: "oh, mercy god, would you give me a hair.
God: "no problem, I blinked eye after to you."
3, China, South Korea and Japan football team coach come together to heaven, ask god their football team when it's time to have to World Cup winner, god said: South Korea need 50 years. South Korea coach burst into tears: I am not to see. God said: Japan needs 100 years. Japan coach burst into tears: I am not to see. China coach hurriedly ask: we? God burst into tears: I am not to see.
4, one man, middle-aged son to, very is spoiling, including bitter pull son's lasting adult, worked hard for son through college, son suits, red light in their faces, but their rags, hungry, pinching pennies to buy his son a room, took a wife, oneself is old. However son unfilial behaviour, in a rain night will be driven him out of the house. The old man came to a shelter from the break temple, the old man is very sad, brute force prevails: my god, why to me so unfair? In a flash of lightning later, a more old voice said: "it is karma ah." When the old man saw a more old people from the deity of the ruined temple the corner into it. The old man frightened: "are you god?" Older man said: "bastard! In the 20 years ago you took me out, WoShiNiBaBa ah, you have not known me?"
5, in the barbershop, priests, step out into money, the barber said: "don't accept your money now, I be service for god." The second day morning, the barber see a store before the door more a letter and a few "bible".
After a few days, a police officer after hair should make money, the barber said: "don't accept your money now, I be for our community service."
The second day morning, the barber see a store before the door and then many a thank-you note and some "community service manual".
Another few days passed, a government officials to get a haircut, make money, the barber said to him: "don't accept your money now, I be for government service." The second day morning, the barber see the door stood a row of government officials
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| fgg | | | Grieve teacher one day, the teacher came into the classroom, the students toghter shout to stand up, "the teacher good morning!" The teacher angrily say: all that good morning? That I afternoon? Difficult way not good? "
So the students toghter shout again: "the teacher good afternoon!"
The teacher angrily say again: "that I evening?"
The students toghter shout again: "the teacher evening all right!"
The teacher nodded and said, "so then, now return shout again!"
The students toghter shout: "teacher good morning, good afternoon, evening all right!
The teacher said: "sit down! Today we want to review antonyms, we so practice, I said you speak, speak a unfavorable will-10 points!, you antonym.now beginning.
Teacher: "the weather of today is very good. The students:" the weather of today is very bad. "
Teacher: "sunshine everywhere." Student: "clouds everywhere."
Teacher: "the road a sea of people." Student: "the road was empty."
Teacher: "young." Student: "old age."
Teacher: "stand up." Student: "lying"
Teacher: "there is a young men stand in the way." Student: "a year old man lying in the road."
Teacher: "I pick up to a dollar money." Student: "I threw a dollar money."
Teacher: "I pick up to a dollar money, to the teacher." Student: "I threw a dollar money and steal a teacher." Teacher: "mistake, can't say so!" Student: "correct, should so say!"
Teacher: "mistake." Student: "that's right."
Teacher: "this not line, this is illegal behavior;!" Student: "this can, this is the legal behavior;!"
Teacher: "I said mistakes." Student: "we said that right."
Teacher: "listen to a teacher, the teacher said that is the right!" Student: "listen to us, the teacher said is wrong!"
Teacher: "you stupid." Student: "we smart."
Teacher: "stop!" Student: "continue!"
Teacher: "you stop now! Don't say!" Student: "we will now continue!!"
Teacher: "you are these stupid pig, I said stop!" Student: "we are a genius, we say that continue!"
Teacher: "you listen to a teacher!" Student: "the teacher listen to our!"
Teacher: "a student has to listen to a teacher!" Student: "the teacher all get to listen to a student!"
Teacher: "now you stop practice!" Student: "now we continue to practice!"
Teacher: "you go endless?" Student: "we never do things by halves of ah!"
Teacher: "that you stop! Stupid pig!" Student: "that we should continue! Genius
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| def | | | Today is my birthday, his girlfriend of early call from the evening to house said for my birthday congratulations, will bring my pleasant surprise! Hearing the good news! Today I was very buy up work force, it ran ten several customers! Return to the company. All afternoon, to dining room a look, only miserably a dish one soup, meat Fried three beans (ChaoHuangDou meat, green beans, peas) and turnip soup. No way, ran a morning customers, stomach would have called the goo goo, had to for a grail meat Fried three beans and a big basin turnip soup, eat it! Didn't expect the home, my belly is like a jeep off-road engine! -began severe piston sport! For an instant, puffs of gas comes from my body to outdo rushed out! I hurriedly rushed to no one place, belly start or embarrassed would sing, but soon became a torrent of poop-poop do ring! Belly good up! And at this moment, but his girlfriend called and said she had got home, call me home quickly. Alas! Can't I went home, hoping that she can not see me this picture look kind! ......
On the way home I try hard to put a lot of fart. Nearly home, a lot better belly, I think should not there to be any problems. Far from it by the door waiting for my girlfriend, she looks a little excited. She cried and said, "my dear, tonight, I got you a very wonderful, you'll be surprised gift."
Haven't entered through the door, his girlfriend with a cloth is my eyes were obtained up, say is to want to give me a surprise! Also took me to sit in front of the table in the chair, and let I swear I won't peep. Suddenly, I felt and want to cut the cheese. Just at this moment, girlfriend's cell phone rang. This can save my life! I'm looking for an excuse to say too disorderly let her into the other room answer the phone! She but not let I can't uncover blindfolded cloth, also let I swear! After the run to the next room on the phone. She left, I will take this opportunity, the body weight were moved to a leg, fart to come out. The fart put not only of loud noise, and smells like moldy eggs to send out the smell. I can hardly breathe, so I feel the chair cushion, tried to all round the door of, tried to fan out this unpleasant smell.
As I just feel better, another fart again. And I raised leg began to put! It sounded like a diesel engine is quickly turned the voice, and that a more unpleasant smell. In order not to gasp, I with my arms waving chair cushion fan up and hope to smell melted away as soon as possible.
It is in all the time to return to normal, and the other a fart and can't wait of blunt. I stood up, bent over and above the bottom backward jue up! Put it out. The fart put real calls is first-class, even the newspapers were behind blow to the basement......
I to listen to another room talking to his girlfriend sound, because to obey not peek promise, I also can't open the mask, only in the darkness with the fart continuously, in order to get to the stomach all gas discharge, and do not let the house become more smelly! I untied belt, underwear and trousers faded to the lower abdomen below, sticking straight out to the bottom, and fumbled to open the door behind the balcony, almost the whole bottom out to the balcony, began to put up the crazy fart to...... , ah!Better than that! After, I again dancing with chair cushion house full disorderly fan, and pray the stench on them... And so, in the next ten minutes, I side with the fart continuously, one side of the door continuously chair cushion, finally, when I heard her say in the telephone goodbye, the air and my stomach is already much better! I quickly on the pants, straightened hair, start with grace, smile and wait for my dear to her surprise me.
When she approached, my face with a contented smile, and a pay warm appearance. First of all for her girlfriend played such a long time of the telephone to I apologized, and then ask me to have secretly uncovered a cloth. In I assured her didn't look after, his girlfriend away in my eyes covered the cloth, and said to me, "accident! My girlfriend today not let me take them to look at you, they said you on the photo is very good manners, people looks very handsome! Look! You see, sat down at the table of the five are in my unit of good sisters, and stood on the balcony of the six is when I go to school the most good friends!"
At this time, I was a great shock and fear to find a lot of girls are sitting at the kitchen table opposite me, and the balcony would stand behind the other a heap of, they are to come to this makes me feel a surprise birthday party. Now, they each one's face with a look that I couldn't make it, like found Martian.
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07 Dec 2011 10:38 
